Thanks

I can’t believe how nice people are. I had someone bake me muffins and leave them on my dining room table for when I came home one night. People are giving hugs, sending nice e-mails, and letting me know that they’re here for me. I’d like to thank everyone for that.

My mom is in a lot of pain. She’s still in the hospital, mainly because they still haven’t figured out the correct dose on which she is without pain. At one point, she was curled up in the fetal position and unable to speak because the pain was so bad. I can tell how bad her pain is because she will become much less animated when it hits and need to lay down. When it’s really bad, she stops speaking altogether and lies down with her hands clasped in one another, fingers wedges between each other, resting on her chest. She also refuses to eat or pretty much function when it’s bad.

It’s hard to see it, because it’s such a huge change from her normal state. When the pain meds take effect, she is a completely different person. It’s like she was sedated and now has woken up and is full of life again.

My mom began a new round of radiation treatments 2 days ago, and hopefully these will shrink the tumors enough to eliminate her pain and difficulty walking. The treatment is on an area that’s had the lifetime dose before, so I’m always scared of side effects and what will be. Still, I don’t like to worry about things I can’t control. Right now, I’m trying to be there for her and for my family as much as I can. It’s school, hospital, school, nap, hospital, sleep, rinse, and repeat. I feel a bit drained, especially with an exam coming up in 2 days, but I know I will pass so I just plod on.

My mom was actually supposed to be released from the hospital today, but she had lots of pain and little sleep last night, so she will have to remain there at least another day so that the pain meds are corrected. She was extremely disappointed about this, and I know she must really want to just be a home in her own bed. She is also very concerned about how much time and effort her family is spending by coming to the hospital, but I keep telling her to stop worrying about us. We are there to support her, and gladly so.

Here’s hoping that she can go home tomorrow, and that I do well on my exam. Thanks again to everyone who has been sending good wishes to my mom and cheering me up.